


Mortified

by richietoaster



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Comedy, Eddie Kaspbrak-centric, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of the Losers Club - Freeform, Overuse of italics, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 17:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14360442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richietoaster/pseuds/richietoaster
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak participates in a local club's event called 'Mortified.' Adults talk about their childhood. He talks about his shitty mother and his best friend and love of his life since he was sixteen and wishes things were different. Luckily for him, that certain someone just so happens to be in the audience.





	Mortified

**Author's Note:**

> so i took a break from writing for like two months. i've had a hard time finding inspiration, but my first fic since my break, this is actually one of my favorite things i've written. it's a whole lot of dialogue on eddie's part. enjoy

“So, my mother’s a piece of shit,” Eddie speaks into the microphone carefully. He pulls up the stool from behind him and sits down after the first round of laughter stops, “Yeah, no, it’s not a joke, I just thought I’d mention it.”

The people in the crowd laughs again anyways but it didn’t occur to Eddie to mind. He’s a comedian, after all. Well, more or less. He participates in an event in his town called ‘Mortified’. It’s where adults talk about themselves as kids, talk about embarrassing things they’ve done when they were younger, and even confess things.

Eddie likes to talk about his shitty mother and the ‘love of his life’, that he claims he never should have let go of.

“Speaking of my mother, when I was in middle school, she tried convincing me that I had so many illnesses, you know? The only real one I had was asthma. However, I only developed it because I had so many panic attacks due to my paranoid of said fake illnesses,” Eddie licks his lips, “so you are all probably wondering where the hell I’m going with this, right?”

As a response, there’s some hollers and claps.

Eddie smiles. “I had this crazy group of friends. There was seven of us. There was one in particular that I was extremely close with. And when we would all go to the quarry and jump into the lake, I would watch him. I would watch him and nobody else, not even the only girl in our group.”

He remembers all of his friends staring at her-  _ Beverly.  _ And she was gorgeous, Eddie knows this. But he wasn’t  _ attracted  _ to her like his friends were, and it scared him.

“It scared me, to be honest,” Eddie says, “because when  _ he  _ took his shirt off, I felt my throat and chest constrict and suddenly I needed my asthma inhaler. I was then the center of attention and I was never a fan of that. They all started asking me if I was okay, and here I am nodding, like  _ yes,  _ I am  _ fine,  _ I’m just  _ really  _ gay,” the crowd erupts in laughter and he laughs to himself as well, “but, of course, I didn’t say that. I didn’t know I was gay at that point in time, either.”

Eddie remembers always having heart eyes when it came to  _ him.  _ He knows that maybe it could’ve been something if he weren’t so in denial back then.

“I thought there was something wrong with me. You know, because I was the boy with many illnesses. Well, when I was sixteen years old, I was accepted into NYU. And I was beyond excited, and so was he. He told me,  _ ‘you’re gonna do great things, Eds.’  _ and in that moment I knew I was in love with him. But I played it off while I tried not to cry. I punched his shoulder and told him not to call me Eds. I secretly loved it, though.”

He did. He  _ does.  _ Eddie misses being called Eds. Misses his dumb jokes, and his loud mouth, and misses  _ him.  _

“When I was eighteen, I left. My mother cried and I didn’t care.  _ He  _ cried and I nearly stayed. But then he told me to go, so I did. And I hated it. Not so much the college experience, just hated not seeing him. I visited every break.. Except, the years went on and he decided to go to college in California. I stayed in New York. There was nothing for me in Derry, Maine anymore.”

It was true. Everyone he cared about scattered themselves throughout the states. He didn’t see most of his friends after high school.

“At twenty-five years old, I got married. Met someone at NYU, but I only ever saw her as a friend. Yes, her. She proposed to me out of the blue one day and it sent me into gay panic mode and I said yes. I said yes and suddenly I never wanted to see her ever again. I found out she was exactly like my mother. How funny, right? I leave the state to get away from my mother but somehow I was lead right back to her in the form of my wife. Yet, I decided to give the relationship a chance even though my thoughts were all about him from years back. At twenty-nine years old I divorced Myra. She threw a shoe at my head but the freedom was worth it,” he laughs, “I also graduated the same year and became a doctor. It was a  _ great  _ year. But still something was missing.”

It’s  _ him.  _ Eddie is missing  _ him,  _ and he knows it.

“So, I came back to Derry, in hopes I’d find what has me feeling so empty. I’ve been back for four months now and I’ve not found it. I know I never will, though, because he’s in California and I’m on the other side of the country.”

Eddie hasn’t seen him in years.

“He probably doesn’t even remember who I am. I haven’t seen him since I was twenty-three. It’s been seven years.”

To him, it feels like decades. He hasn’t seen his best friend in so long. He finishes off with, “Hi, I’m Eddie Kaspbrak, I’m thirty years old, and I’ve been in love with my best friend, Richie Tozier for twelve years and counting.”

Eddie sets the microphone back into the holder and bows. There’s claps and shouts and whistling and just so much noise. He thinks out of the dozens of times he’s told this story in the four months he’s been back in Derry, it’s the loudest audience he’s ever had. 

He steps off of the stage, still being applauded, and goes straight to the bar to get a drink. Before he can even order one, he hears his name being called and he turns around.

“At your service,” Eddie says.

“You’ve found me,” the stranger says.

_ It can’t be..  _ “.. Excuse me?”  _ Don’t get your hopes up.  _

“I wasn’t sure if you were talking about me, but then you mentioned how I called you  _ Eds, _ and then I knew immediately.”

“Richie,” Eddie breathes. He watches Richie step closer and lets himself be engulfed into a hug. “You heard all of that?”

Richie nods, “Every single word.. Did you mean it?”

“Yes. All of it.. What’re you doing back in Derry?”

“I guess we had the same idea. I’ve been looking for  _ you,”  _ Richie flashes him a smile, “God, have I missed you or what?”

Eddie opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He’s speechless. Richie is here. Richie is standing right in front of him.  _ Say something-  _

“Can I buy you a drink?” Richie asks, and Eddie is glad.

“Can you kiss me first?”

Richie grins and leans in to press his lips against Eddie’s.

Neither of them know where they’re going, but they’ve found each other again, and with each other is where they’re supposed to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi: richietoaster.tumblr.com
> 
> (COMMENTS ARE VERY WELL APPRECIATED!!!)


End file.
